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Saturday, July 17, 2010 15:06:56
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Just wanted to take a quick minute to rant about something that bugs me. Every commercial break on TV, there's some insurance company talking about how great their product is, based on how many discounts they offer. No mention of what the original price is, or how it compares to other companies.
Attaching discounts to an arbitrary price is basically meaningless. In my mind, it's the same as ridiculous advertisements featuring "up to 30% or more" off of the regular price - in other words, it could be absolutely any price whatsoever, from zero up to and including the regular price which is never stated.
Discounting your own unstated rates means nothing. Let me demonstrate: I will gladly insure your vehicle, and I'll offer discounts for having a job, owning OR renting your home, having children, owning a television set, being left-handed, knowing how to play poker, liking polka music, being taller than 6 feet, being shorter than 5 feet, having seen all 11 Star Trek movies, knowing how to say "Hello" in at least three languages, preferring paper instead of plastic bags at the supermarket, drinking 1% milk, knowing the difference between Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton, actually liking the new Star Wars trilogy better than the original trilogy, being a lacrosse fan, knowing how to integrate a polynomial, playing the trombone, memorizing all of the state capitals, preferring Jessica Biel over Jessica Alba (warning: NSFW, PG-13 link), owning an original Nintendo Entertainment System, being able to understand Ozzy Osbourne, admitting you like Miley Cyrus's music, owning the complete works of William Shakespeare in Pag Latin, and having a pet iguana. I could go on, but I don't want to get long winded.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, I could make that offer, complete with a hundred various discounts, but it costs you $75,000 per month, and each discount only knocks 50 bucks off of the price. Would that be a good deal? (That's a rhetorical question, but for those of you who haven't been following along, the answer is 'no'). So when Allstate, Progressive, and every other insurance company talks about their "discounts", make sure you don't fall for their little game - there's no substitute for shopping around for the best deal.
And if anyone is interested in my insurance offer, give me a call. I'll just need your first 12 payments as a non-refundable deposit in cash or gold bullion.
Video: Progressive Commercial Spoof - Discount!
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Tags: rant funny
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